Why I hope my 9-year-old doesn't see the movie "Twilight"

My daughter has a love for all things pop. In part, she wants to associate herself with the glamor and fun that she sees occasionally on the Disney channel or Nickelodeon. In part, it's a way to fit in. The more she knows about pop culture, the better able she is to speak the language of kids at school.

We do not have cable TV - and while I occasionally am distressed about my inability to see shows I like, for the most part it is good. She can watch a show or two on Netflix (she doesn't know about Hulu) and some music videos on YouTube.

Recently she asked me how old she needed to be to see "Twilight".
I said, "Maybe, 14?"
She said, "There's an 8-year-old at my school who has seen it already."
I promptly replied, "And do you think that was a good idea?"
silence.
"You know it doesn't matter to me what the other kids are doing, what matters is what is right for you."
"But she's ok. She said it doesn't bother her."
"That's not really the point." I replied.

I'm really a stickler on this one - and it is from personal experience. When I was 5, I went to a friend's house to spend the night. I had something of a love hate relationship with this girl and her family. I loved being there, but there was always some drama between her and her siblings, her mom or the two of us.
On this one particular visit we stayed up late watching HBO with her older sister. We watched the movie, "A Clockwork Orange". Well, I can tell you that's really haunted me, probably scarred me in ways I never understood. I can definitely say that it took away my innocence. Forever.
Now, "Twilight" isn't A Clockwork Orange", but it's a pretty strong subject for a 9 year old. Even a precocious one.

So, I agreed to watch it and let her know if I thought she could see it and no doubt she will want to know when.
I will caveat the following by saying that I will probably see the next movie - and that "The Lost Boys" was a movie that I really liked in high school. However, I wasn't 9 when I saw Kiefer Sutherland chasing little boys down the beach.

Twilight sets a terrible example for young girls. Period. Let me outline why
- Bella is a boring, uninteresting character with no redeeming features except a neat truck, an iPod and a cute face. Otherwise there's nothing about her that says she's athletic or smart or even has artistic skills. Oh, she uses Google, but that's not exactly a unique feature.
- Bella love a man who is dangerous and wants to kill her. But she loves him anyway. And she TRUSTS him to control himself while she doesn't do anything to protect herself. Talk about giving a young girl a bad message: "It's ok to love a guy who wants to hurt you, and don't do anything about it - just trust him. It'll all work out ok in the end."
- Edward takes her places and does things with her that are fundamentally dangerous. I guess all teenage boys are like this, but it's at an extreme here and not the kind of thing that a girl should learn to trust.
- He sneaks into her room at night and watches her, then follows her when she doesn't expect him to. (Can you say stalker?)
- He takes her away from her friends and alienates her from her social circle. She becomes less connected to them the more she interacts with him.
- Oh, and she starts lying to her parents and continues to through the movie - covering up her injury at the end of the movie with a reference to her clumsiness.
Now that I've seen the movie - I'm even less inclined to let her see anytime soon. I also hope she gets how bad it is. No doubt she'll see it at some sleepover or other event, when she's out of my control.
All of this is certainly fresh on my mind because of the situation with Rhianna and Chris Brown. When they got back together I told my daughter I thought Rhianna was stupid.
She said, "No, she's just forgiving." I was adamant then, just as I am now, that she needs to know that no violence like that ever ends. Again, as someone who say her mother threatened with a knife - I know what I'm talking about.

But I'm not going to be the one who enables this particular movie to influence my daughter. And when she does see it - I'm going to give her a strong talking to about boys and why Edward Cullen is just about the worst kind.

Summertime

It's definitely summertime.
My thighs were stuck to the plastic on the subway.
I smelled exhaust and dust and grime when I stepped off of the train.
Held my breath for a moment to recover.
Teens stood on the train next to me rubbing slightly sweaty palms on each others damp necks.
Definitely the summer time.

Musings

It's late. I'm tired.
The clock reads 11:23. A gentle breeze of almost spring flows through the open window. My child's throat was so red this evening - I worry.
A hamster rattles his bars in the distance.
I remember as a child, when I was sick, I would look over at my closet - where the light was on - and see patterns of light. The rhythm of my breathing was a pattern of rough and smooth, colors and absence, and it went on and on. It was an interminable experience. Even now when I remember I get worried and my forehead wrinkles in discomfort. I feel the light falling on me and I twist, seeking to remove myself from it's path.
How many times as a child was I sick and my mother told me to "tough it out"?
Was this her reaction to not being able to actually do anything about me being sick?
What would I have done? What have I done?

Gorgeous Sunset

Golden Grace

Whoa!

I can't believe it's December!

Things that make me happy

- smiles
- spring flowers
- my child's laughter
- vanilla pudding
- a nap in the afternoon
- yoga
- the warmth of a fire
- a good (or bad) pun
- fresh bread
- cooking
- singing

Life List

Things I'd like to do in my life:
- Visit every continent
- Learn to snowboard
- Spend time in Burma
- Donate bone marrow
- Visit St. Petersburg
- Take singing lessons (again)
- Take my child to my hometown
- Learn to paint with oils
- Take a real vacation
- Learn to use a potter's wheel
- Learn another language

Sink Effects

Leaves

I leave the road
wandering deep
into the big woods
needles soft beneath
my soles

Moss creeps
along northern trunks
Maple seeds helicopter
to the forest floor

A branch scrapes
my cheek
the red line
rises up in memory
marked for a time

Balancing on a rock
My childhood spirals
Up like a snake
from the damp lichen

I jump
tumbling into leaves
laughing
as fragments
season my face and hands